In The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul , Douglas Adams wrote: “It can hardly be a coincidence that no language on Earth has ever produced the expression ‘as pretty as an airport’.” Similarly, I remain unsurprised no famous idiom exists along the lines of ‘as amazing as an Apple iPhone case’. That would be weird, for one. Also: inaccurate . And I say that as someone who currently owns at least 95% of an Apple iPhone case – and who has 100% conviction that I’ll never buy another.

This isn’t some kind of anti-Apple tirade, note. Hit pieces on the fruit company are sprinkled about the internet like angry confetti. But I mostly like Apple gear and…

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